The words echoed in her head as she sat down next to Cat in the sofa. Her eyes wandered around the room, taking in the people making out, laughing, feeling each other up, flirting, taking shots. Black, tight dresses that just about covered the asscheecks seemed to be the theme of the night for the girls. The boys wore jeans and a t-shirt, jeans and a t-shirt, jeans and a shirt, jeans and a t-shirt. Cat, sitting so close to the guy she was taking to that she could probably smell his breath, wore double denim. And in contrast with the attention seeking, wannabe sex goddesses in the room, she was bare-faced. Anouk, contrasting both Cat and the other girls, wore her brother's worn-out, white t-shirt and black baggy jeans. She couldn't sit still here. She got up and headed for the bathroom.

 

After kicking out the three people drunkenly making desicions they'd regret the morning after, she locked the door and met her eyes in the mirror. They were framed by smudged eyeliner that hadn't even looked so great as she had attempted to apply it. It matched her clumsily applied red lipstick that was empty in the middle by now. She wiped it off with toilet paper. The red stain didn't completely go away, but at least it was equally smudged all over instead of in patches. She had some water from the tap. How did anyone find these parties fun?

 

As she walked out, Cat was making out with the guy next to her. What was that, number four tonight? Oh wait no, there was the guy on the subway here as well. Five, then. Anouk sighed and walked out to the balcony. A guy was alone out there. Couldn't he at least have someone to make out with? That would have been so much easier to ignore. She went through her pockets for a pack of cigarettes, but found none. He offered her his packet and a lighter without either one of them uttering a word. He finished his cigarette and didn't take up another. He just stood there, gazing out into the night. It was a quiet neighborhood. She finished her cigarette. After a while, he offered her another by holding up his pack. She nodded and took one. He nodded and put them back in his pocket.

 

- She doesn't like him.

 

Anouk wasn't sure whether he was talking to her or to himself.

 

- Hm?

 

He was silent for a while. Then, again:

 

- She doesn't like him.

 

Anouk took a drag on the cigarette.

 

- I'm not so sure.

 

He turned to her.

 

- I am.

 

Then he walked back in. Cat met him in the doorway.

 

- Can I have that? she asked.

 

Anouk looked down at her half-finished cigarette, then handed it over. She studied Cat as she finished it, inhaling deeply every time.

 

- It's nice with some fresh air.

 

Cat's comment was left hanging for too long.

 

- I guess. I love you.

 

Anouk hadn't planned on saying anything. It just came out. Like the most natural thing in the world.

 

- I love you too.

 

Cat didn't look at her as she said it. But after taking a last drag of the cigarette and throwing the butt down from the balcony, she turned to Anouk and looked at her intensely before kissing her on the cheek.